roller coaster rides

so here’s the thing about life: it’s unexpected. and the more unexpected it becomes the more i am forced to rely on God because he’s the only one i can count on 130% to ALWAYS be there for me and not let me down. this summer sure has tested me a lot. i’ve grown a lot and i’ve certainly royally screwed things up. to talk about one particular matter i’ve recently had a friendship that has been renewed after about a year and half of constant turmoil consisting of bickering, bitterness, a lot of pride and little forgiveness. i care deeply about this person and sincerely want what’s best for them- even if that included letting them go out of my life. so i was completely surprised when one day i received a text from them apologizing for everything and wanting to start fresh. i didn’t even hesitate to say yes. partially because for the past year and half i had been praying for this and partially because i too wanted to start fresh with this friendship. it’s not too often that friendships can be repaired like this, even in the Christian community. for about 3 weeks it’s been wonderful. i feel like we’ve caught up more in the 3 weeks than we had in over a year. but i’ve also learned that i cannot hold on to blessings too tightly. because God gives and God takes away. i cannot idolize this person again. i have to constantly remind myself that God is more important than the gifts He provides. so when today i received a text from this person saying that they need space, not only was i caught off guard but i was once again shown the reality of who God is. GOD is the reason why i am here on this earth and i am here on this earth to GLORIFY God. not my self. not others- God.
so now comes the lesson of lessening my grip on people and holding tighter onto God. it’s hard, especially when it’s people i really care about. but i cannot deny the reality of who God is for a person that cannot compare to even the shadow of God. people give may give me whiplash full of emotions and whatever else comes with trying to figure out being ‘just friends’ with the opposite sex, but God is my constant, never changing, my Rock and the Love of my life.