to be up front, i have no idea what i want to write about. I'll just write about life i guess. that's always good. and i guess we'll see where that takes us on this little blog entry. i guess something we can start with is this. one of my new favorite songs is "just the way you are" by bruno mars. this song actually took me by surprise the first time i heard it. why? because unlike most songs out there with hidden sexual innuendos about guys thinking girls need to be sexy in order to be viewed as beautiful this song is actually one of those rarities that tells girls that guys think we are pretty just the way we are- WHAT A RELIEF! like dang! i don't have to put on mounds of make-up in order to impress a guy or do my hair for hours to "achieve" perfection. it's nice to know that a guy out there somewhere will see us as pretty in our sweats and hair all a mess and no make-up on, our real beauty shining through! it gives me hope. maybe I'll spend less time in the mirror worried that i don't look completely perfect. Seriously, i think that guys need to speak up and tell girls that they look pretty more often. they have no idea how much a simple compliment like that brightens up our day! even if it seems like we just shrug it off like it's nothing, believe me- it means more to us than we let on...

OK. where to next? i guess i could talk about relationships and the mess we make when trying to figure out the ins and outs of guy/girl friendships without the awkwardness of all those romantic feelings... so question of the day- can guys and girls be "just friends"? i wont downplay the importance of having guys and girls as friends. since we think differently it gives new perspectives into situations when dealing with things and having that in a friendship i think is very important. if you're a girl, having a guy's perspective on something that a girl would normally over-dramatize is great! guys tend to be more level headed in certain situations and for guys having a girl's perspective on things is also great because we can tend to see more possibilities. following me so far? but what happens when we start leaning too much on the opposite sex too much for insight on things? if we start opening up too much to them. i think that's where a lot of the mess starts to happen. girls open their hearts up too fast and too often to their guy friends and guys (being naive and oblivious- sry guys) just let us do it. where's the discretion? from both people?  whatever happened to guarding your heart?

let me leave you with this- i think if we started focusing on just being friends and leaving the whole "romantic-ness" up to God to set before us, i think things will go a lot better for everyone. Just focus on being closer to God and growing closer to Him. Uplift and encourage each other- give each other compliments- it's okay! do everything with agape and phileo love!

change

they say the only constant in life is change. kind of ironic if you ask me. but it's also very true. things change. they are constantly changing. if they weren't then life wouldn't be what it is. life changes, is ebbs and flows into new seasons of life- people come in and out of our lives- for better of worse sometimes. and it's okay. we have to be okay with change. why? because it inevitable. it's expected. just as surely as the seasons are bound to change so are the seasons of life we are in. we are never in the same place twice, each day is brand new bringing about it's own form of new experiences. but sometimes change can hurt or leave us feeling empty. like when people who we thought were always going to be there along side us are suddenly gone. it leaves our soul feeling ripped or torn. a gaping hole is now left in our hearts where this person used to be. a space that only they can fill. nothing will ever be the same. nothing can bring them back. life is too short to be living for tomorrows. the way i see it tomorrow isn't real. there is no such thing as tomorrow. there is only today. so why not live in the here and now, taking each moment in, cherishing it, remembering it? Dont be afraid of telling someone how you feel or taking chances- because today is all we have.
the other thing about life that we have to know comes down to 3 simple words: life moves on. whether we're aware of it or now. it keeps going. the seasons change- summer to fall, fall to winter, winter to spring. and thus the cycle of life continues. expect change. embrace it. God has all things in his hand. nothing surprises him. So ready yourself for whatever comes your way. life your life, not someone else's. dont get caught up in looking ahead in life that you forget to stop and smell the flowers or see the beauty of the fall leaves or watch clouds pass by. Make memories with the people you love, because we never know how long we have because things change. So make the most of right now.

this one is called... BOYS.

So here's the thing. why do we as girls bash boys so much? i dont think it's fair. i mean yeah, sure, they can be a little clueless, but can't we give them the benifit of the doubt? i feel like girls have such a low view of ourselves and of guys and we either think that we're not good enough or that guys are just dumb a**es and are out to ruin our lives. so here's the thing. when a girl has a crush on a guy- it's fine. but a guy is still just a guy. he doesn't have to talk to you. in fact he probably wont. is it a victory when he talks to us for over an hour on fb chat? is that even a real converstation? samething goes for texting. fact is guys dont communicate same way girls do. goooo figure! what's holding us back from having a real conversation with them? so here's the thing: the guy is giving what he can in the context of the kind of relationship it is. it is nothing more than a friendship. they're not obligated to anything more. i dont know if i make any sense but i just think it's stupid to get mad about a relationship that doesn't even exist.

Devotion - Hillsong United

Here's a video i made :) glitter in the air- p!nk

roller coaster rides

so here’s the thing about life: it’s unexpected. and the more unexpected it becomes the more i am forced to rely on God because he’s the only one i can count on 130% to ALWAYS be there for me and not let me down. this summer sure has tested me a lot. i’ve grown a lot and i’ve certainly royally screwed things up. to talk about one particular matter i’ve recently had a friendship that has been renewed after about a year and half of constant turmoil consisting of bickering, bitterness, a lot of pride and little forgiveness. i care deeply about this person and sincerely want what’s best for them- even if that included letting them go out of my life. so i was completely surprised when one day i received a text from them apologizing for everything and wanting to start fresh. i didn’t even hesitate to say yes. partially because for the past year and half i had been praying for this and partially because i too wanted to start fresh with this friendship. it’s not too often that friendships can be repaired like this, even in the Christian community. for about 3 weeks it’s been wonderful. i feel like we’ve caught up more in the 3 weeks than we had in over a year. but i’ve also learned that i cannot hold on to blessings too tightly. because God gives and God takes away. i cannot idolize this person again. i have to constantly remind myself that God is more important than the gifts He provides. so when today i received a text from this person saying that they need space, not only was i caught off guard but i was once again shown the reality of who God is. GOD is the reason why i am here on this earth and i am here on this earth to GLORIFY God. not my self. not others- God.
so now comes the lesson of lessening my grip on people and holding tighter onto God. it’s hard, especially when it’s people i really care about. but i cannot deny the reality of who God is for a person that cannot compare to even the shadow of God. people give may give me whiplash full of emotions and whatever else comes with trying to figure out being ‘just friends’ with the opposite sex, but God is my constant, never changing, my Rock and the Love of my life.

Winter Song- Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7B9PrfNkAM

higer standards

don't you ever wish that "that special someone" would just like you back? it's so frustrating it seems that guys (and girls) never seem to get it. and so we lower our expectations of each other. we figure if we don't expect anything then we can't ever be disappointed and we can't ever be hurt. and maybe that's true. but then we miss out on love. C.S.Lewis has the most amazing quote. it says,

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

wow. to love is to set your heart out there and hope, pray that the other person can feel the love seeping through your heart at them. it doesn't mean they will love you back. no. love is more than being loved back. that kind of love leads to conditions and terms and can no longer be called love.
but let's get back to this higher standards bit. what if men aren't all pigs and boys are all stupid? what if girls actually do know what they want and we aren't manipulative, rather screaming the songs of our hearts our longing to be loved? what if we're all just broken people in need of a loving God?
so, girls, instead of demeaning guys and getting upset when your crush doesn't text you back, don't get upset. one: he's a guy. they don't communicate the same way we do.
two: you two aren't in any sort of commitment and he is not obligated to text you back. tho yes, you're right, it would be nice if he did. if he does- great! if not, don't get upset.

and guys- seriously, give girls more credit. we know more of what we want in a guy than you might think. and it's really not that hard. we're not looking for "the perfect guy" (though i can see where you might think that. i blame chick flicks and Disney) we're looking for a man after God's own heart that shares his love with the people around him. a man than understands how to capture a woman's heart and pursue her and make her feel special. to make her feel loved. it's okay to tell us we look pretty on occasion- or as often as you want!

so to make a end to all this hear me out; not all guys are out to break our precious hearts, girls. and girls don't want to be controlling or manipulative to get guys attention or whatever you think we're trying to do. let's be more understanding and edifying to each other. lifting each other up to be men and women of God!

sleep

sleep. some view it as just catching up on rest from too many late nights studying for that stupid exam that didnt even matter. sleep for me is much more than just closing my eyes and dreaming for a few hours. it's about taking 8 or so hours of giving time up to God saying "God, i cannot go on any more, i must rest to recharge" it's surrendering, it's sacrifice. maybe just a small sacrifice, but enough to say im still human. i cannot get all the things i want done in my time, things will work out regardless though. So lack of sleep, or thinking we dont need sleep is almost prideful... though we must take into account that some people just can't fall asleep. this has been my life lately. it seems that no matter how hard i try i cannot get to sleep. So i pray. i pray that God lift the burdens and worries off of my mind and give me peace. Read Psalm 4:8 :) a good friend told me about this verse and so i wrote it and put it over my bed and read it before i sleep and i have to say that i have been sleeping better.

seeking Him

i've been thinking lately, how often do i seek after God? i go to a christian school, i have good christian friends, i go to church on sunday AND wendesday and yet i dont have time for God? how does that make sense? When was the last time i really took time to spend time with God? think  of a dating relationship. when a coulple starts dating then want to know everything about each other. they asks questions and do thinks to get to know each other better. they pursue. they take notes on what each one likes and so on... you get the point. So refer that back to getting to know God. reading our bibles or reading thought-provoking books (piper and driscoll are always good choices) are one way to understand God, know His heart because he's revealing himself through scripture. are you following me here? why, out of all the relationships in my life am i NOT investing in the most important one? instead of scheduling God into my day why not schedule my day around God? hmm. this is just me thinking. and for you now to think about :)